by Cathy Slade

Every year, it's different; growing in content and opening the hearts and minds of those present. There is always a new programmatic addition to the ceremony that brings a heightened awareness about the topic and solidifies its importance in the community. Domestic violence is an issue that must remain at the forefront of public consciousness in order for it to emerge from family secrecy into the open, be addressed, and made a community public safety concern no more.

The fourth Annual Candlelight Vigil against Domestic Violence was designed as a step toward that goal. Considered an outreach and educational awareness activity in the jargon of public health and community organizing, the Vigil serves, not only as a reminder of the devastating effects of this insidious disease and public safety concern, but also as a remembrance of its victims.

Held at the Roslindale Congregational Church and organized by Healthy Roslin-dale's Domestic Violence Task Force, the Vigil began with music by Della Gelzer who played an African drum. The slow, soft music served as a somber backdrop to what would be a solemn ceremony. As participants entered the church and took a candle, some were given handmade paper t-shirts with writing on the back. The words told the story of each victim's fateful life-ending and would be read during the candlelight portion of the program.

Antonia Chronis, Chair of the Domestic Violence Task Force, welcomed participants, spoke of the reasons for the annual remembrance Vigil, and thanked organizing committee members. Cathy Slade, Director of Healthy Roslindale, was the emcee and introduced a myriad of speakers who read poems and spoke to the issue of domestic violence, some from personal experience.

The Boston Acapella Choir from First Tabernacle Beth-El sang a beautiful hymn in honor of survivors. Then Father John Mendicoa from Sacred Heart Parish led us in a beautiful, inspirational prayer he wrote for this special occasion.

Melanie Legeros of Passageways, a program that supports domestic violence victims at the Faulkner and Brigham and Women's hospitals, told about "The T-Shirt Project" and its impact on families of victims. She encouraged everyone to take a good look at the t-shirt display before leaving the church. The t-shirts were designed by victim's family members as a memorial and displayed poignant messages that all should read. Following the service, the t-shirt project was set up for display at the Greater Roslindale Medical and Dental Center for the remainder of the week.

Doctor Jan Protiva spoke to the crowd from her perspective as a medical doctor at the Greater Roslindale Medical and Dental Center. She said that, although young children have deep psychological scars from witnessing or suffering from domestic violence, many of them, with therapeutic help, can reverse the psychological damage. Her message was one of honesty, optimism and hope.

Chris Womendez, founder of F.I.N.E.X. House, a transitional residential treatment home for women and their children, then approached the podium. She addressed us from her own experience as one who was abused and who now works with the abused. Her sincerity and dedication were revealed as she spoke of the serious consequences abuse has on families.

Then, two Rossie Reps recited poems. First, Jeff Noel read a poem written by the husband of Idalia Carassco who works in the Passageways Program at Brigham and Women's Hospital. Her husband, Ben, penned the poem comparing human beings to potted plants and describing our need for nurturing so that we will become fortified enough to let our inner beauty shine. Then Aniela Petani read "What Love Is/What Love Isn't." The poem was truly a litany of adjectives describing what love is and what can be masked as love, but is really power and control.

Reverend Karen Peters, Pastor of the Bethany First United Methodist Church, gave an inspiring talk, referencing an insightful story from the Bible. She called upon all of us to stand up to all acts of domestic violence, for it is our silence and tolerance that allow it to thrive.

Then, the most emotive portion of the program began as Sister Nancy Braceland asked those who had taken a paper t-shirt to come forward one at a time to read the fate of the victim and light a candle in her or his memory. Hearing the stories of how these children, men, and women had died was a stirring reminder that so many innocent people can be hurt by the actions of a few.

Sister Nancy instructed those who held lit candles to share the light with the rest of those present, so that all had candles alight. Sister Roseanne Amico, CSJ then led the congregation in singing "Let there be Peace on Earth." The Vigil ended in silence and darkness with each person blowing out their candle in his or her own time.

Many of the participants completed the evening at NuVo Kitchen & Wine Bar on Washington Street where everyone was invited to gather after the Vigil. This was a nice ending, as people recapped the event over hot apple cider and hors d'oeuvres. All agreed that the choir and the T-Shirt Project were powerful and moving additions to the Vigil.

Participants used words such as "thought-provoking," "solemn," "beautiful," "touching", and "somber" to describe the Vigil, which is the fourth since women from Roslindale were killed in late 2002 and early 2003. From the attendance and the remarks from participants, it looks as though another memorable tradition has been established here in Roslindale at the Vigil.