by Carole Anne Scott

The puzzling problem was presented to us in a time-management class, at work, of all places. “Imagine that you are on the Titanic,” the instructor requested. “The alarm bells are sounding as the ship is sinking fast. You are allowed to grab three suitcases, each of which contains one of your treasured values. Which three values are you going to keep as you scramble to the top deck?” Each of us diligent students wrote the answer into a notebook.

Choosing was difficult, but not impossible, until part two of the problem was posited. “Now you’ve arrived on deck,” she continued, “There is only enough room for one of your suitcases. You must throw the other two overboard. Picture those two treasured values, sinking into the sea. Which is the most important one for you, the remaining value which you absolutely could not live without?” she challenged.

I thought about what I would most need if I were standing there on the cold Atlantic, ice all around me, facing a very present, possible untimely death. The answer was difficult because in such a situation, anyone naturally would want all their values to sustain them: the courage to continue on, the integrity not to do so unfairly at the expense of another, the hopefulness not to give up in despair despite the overwhelming odds, the resourcefulness to think of a way to survive, the love to comfort and console, the faith to see the face God, helping you through the horror of the situation. A list like this one could go on seemingly without end. Which one value would I keep?

The answer we provide to such a question is an important one because it defines much about who we are and it clarifies our life because we cannot function properly or find happiness if we try to live in a way that is contrary to our basic values.

This experience at work stood out all the more powerfully in my mind because it came just two weeks after I had attended a retreat whose theme was defining our “personal vocation.” The original foundation for the thoughts we discussed that day at St. Clement’s Eucharistic Shrine had been laid by Father Herbie Alfonso who first defined this unique way of looking at life. We all know that God calls us to a certain vocation and that by listening carefully we can hear that call. What is less obvious is Father Herbie’s insistence that there is a call within that call, equally important and just waiting to be discerned.

Single, married, in consecrated life, or in lay life, we listen to God speaking in our hearts and choose a framework to sustain that life; we pick a career, a spouse, a particular religious order. In the concept of a “personal vocation,” we are asked to find that one value that is uniquely ours to bring to God, the one thing that inspires us to prayer, the one factor that unites everything in life for us.

The example was given of St. Therese of Lisieux, the Little Flower. She had been reading St. Paul’s description of the mystical body of the Church, where some are the hands, others the eyes, but all are working together for the good of the whole. She could not see herself in any of those traits and then, she had a revelation that her personal vocation was to love. As she expressed it, “I saw and realized that love sets off the bounds of all vocations, that love is everything, that this same love embraces every time and every place... Then, nearly ecstatic with the supreme joy in my soul I proclaimed: ‘Oh Jesus, my love, at last I have found my calling: my call is love’... In the heart of the Church, my mother, I will be love and this I will be in all things, as my desire finds its direction.”

In preparing to become an Associate of the Sisters of St. Joseph, I had many opportunities to reflect on my past and present life in company with my companion on that journey and nearly lifelong mentor, Sr. Camella Gambale. It is an incredible gift to sit in the presence of one who knows you well, one who has been there with you through difficult days and happy times, and to discuss the answers to the questions that form the basis of your faith. Reflecting on my gifts and successes, along with my failures and shortcomings, I came to realize even more fully that God has always been with me, even in those times when I was tired or discouraged, lonely or sad, confused or hurt.

The day I became an Associate was such a euphoric one for me because, even without taking any vows (much to my husband’s relief), I was formalizing my commitment to God in a new and different way. I know that the grace from that experience will remain with me all my life. Like St. Therese, I aspire to be love in a world that often seems far too devoid of that one most essential quality. There are times when I miss the mark, yet I continue to try. I think that all God really asks of us is that we try; if we but respond to it, God’s grace is always there to pick up our slack and to help us succeed.

The other day we watched as my nephew Michael graduated from Acton-Boxborough Regional High. Everyone was laughing at me because every time I thought about how Michael has been transformed from the little boy he once was to a young man almost all grown up and ready to face the world, I’d start to cry. Moments like graduation are so emotional, precisely because they represent a rite of passage, not just for the child, but also for the adults who’ve had a role in raising that child. When those pivotal moments occur, there is no escaping the realization that the golden days of running out to see the latest Disney movie or hanging around for hours playing Scrabble together are unequivocally gone.

Memories flood the mind and tug at the heart as the tears well up because you know that there can be no returning to those times. Pride at who that young person has become also adds to the tears. And the final ingredient in the mix is found in the fear that life may not always be kind, that for those who have had life so good, it will be difficult if life turns so bad, as it sometimes can. The wish to protect is there, along with the realization that it is impossible to protect; all that is possible is to pray.

One of Michael’s classmates speaking at graduation described how each student is an artist with a palette of paints ready to color the canvas of life with whatever designs are found appealing. We know that is not so, however, for life constantly throws into our path difficulties that are not of our own choosing. Often we are not artists designing the canvas; we are touch-up painters restoring what has been broken, protecting what has been lost, taking an old design and making it new.

Like many young people, Michael is unsure about what he’d like to be. During the next four years spent away at college, he’ll have an opportunity to explore and decide on a vocation. My hope for him and for all our graduates is that they will also find the personal vocation that will see them through life; for when we are discouraged, it is our personal vocation that reminds us to be encouraged. Life has a way of overwhelming us with problems; to live fully we have to be able to be under-whelmed by those problems.

May you find the way in which God is uniquely calling you to be a special sign of the divine presence in this world. May you run into the sun of summer knowing that God runs with you, beside, above you, around you, within you, on each perfect day and on each not so great one too.